not {alone}

so i have been away from the blog, shop, and other social networks for the past few weeks.  i have put my life on hold.  i have stepped back from the world and have been with family and friends...

march 29th was one of the toughest days of my life.  on that day my mom went into urgent care because she'd been feeling sick for the past four days.  she had random bruises all over her body and a constant headache.  she arrived at 2:30 PM and was diagnosed with acute leukemia by 4:00 PM.  what a whirlwind these past 21 days have been (almost 22, we keep track quite accurately up here).

since she arrived that afternoon, she has been in an immune sensitive isolation room up on the top floor.  its a private room with an extra set of doors that encloses a place for staff and guests to wash and clean up before entering.  everyone needs to be nice and clean because the chemo is destroying her white cells since most of them were leukemic, while also killing her healthy ones too.  she has no 'warriors' in her blood to protect her from germs, viruses, and bacteria. her iv pole, 'slim', is always hanging different products to keep things going in the right direction.  i think i have most of the stats, vitals, numbers, and counts down.  i assume my brother thinks i am a geek for already knowing what are good white counts and bad, what are low fibronigen numbers or not, and what DIC ANC AML APL PLT HGB all stand for. my dad has been wonderful too.  he enjoys just sitting by her side while she sleeps just so she knows someone is always there if she needs them.  john, my husband, is incredibly supportive.  hes the guy that helps with all the odds and ends.  he helps with car rides, awesome foot rubs, candy hunts, and late night ginger ale runs. all of our family and friends have been so supportive and helpful.  it is great to see and hear from all of them.  she actually used to work on this same floor years back and knows most of the doctors and older staff members.  they are amazing and treat our family wonderfully.

it was an incredibly scary time the first few days. it still is, but a routine has set in and everything is a bit more, well, settled.  i have spent most nights here with her on a cot... which i have enhanced with an egg crate recently.  and speaking of sleep, i do have a bit of downtime while naps are occurring.  so as shown above, i am practicing my photo-journalistic skills.  my mom doesn't mind, as long as i don't snap too many of her ;-) with good days and bad days, we came up with an idea to help her fight through them all.  we created orange bracelets (orange for leukemia) with a saying we thought fit the situation and used her nickname.  we mailed and handed them out to family and friends with a few instructions: to wear it with pride in support of her & to take a self portrait with it while holding a sign with an encouraging word 'strength, courage, love, fight' etc.  hopefully when we get the pictures in, they will be a reminder to my mom to keep fighting, to take it one day at a time, that chemo's a bitch, and she is not alone - we are all here to fight with her.  {i will probably make a photo book with all the pictures, inspiration quotes, and memories.}

so i shall be around again... here and there... when i have time and need to design.  creative work helps take my mind off things and i enjoy decompressing with it.  i am learning that 1.} one must step away to regroup at times to stay healthy and 2.} to trust in science.  its amazing to me how the body works in all its intricate ways.

{Courage is the first of human qualities because it is the quality which guarantees the others.
  -- Aristotle}

i created an {orange treasury} on etsy too.  full of unique tints, hues, and shades of orange.
-Ellie